Tag: feedback

  • Inflated Praise – Sunday Clippings #11

    Hello there,

    This week I posted three new posts on the blog that you might want to check out: Good Reasoning on giving clear and accurate reasonings, Seeking Sacrifice on breaking out of the Gratification Trap and the difference between Opinions and Observations. Moving on to the newsletter now.

    This week’s issue is about Inflated Praise which comes from the same place as bad feedbacks. Inflated praise is very unhelpful, especially for children. You’re telling them they’ve done the “best” in something which leads to unrealistic expectations they create for themselves.

    “Adults may also try to raise children’s self-esteem by giving inflated praise. Instead of telling children they did well, adult may tell them they did incredibly well. In one study, adults read scenarios involving children with high or low self-esteem, then wrote down the praise they would give. Adults gave children with low self-esteem more inflated praise (33%) than they gave children with high self-esteem (18%). These findings were replicated in in-home observations of parent–child interactions.”Child Development Perspectives, Volume 10

    The fascinating thing here is that inflated praise mainly has two effects on children with low self-esteems – Some of them are able to perform better as the praise might be a form of motivation for them. It creates an incredibly protective surrounding for them where they don’t feel down but rather are supported and encouraged to do better.

    The second one is more common, the inflated praise creates large amounts of unnecessary pressure on a child who’s already struggling with low self-esteem and ends up feeling like they have to perform in a certain way to live up to the high standards assigned for them.

    An article by Eddie Brummelman on Behavioral Science gives an interesting example: “A teacher told me about a boy in her class, whose mother gives him lots of inflated praise. One day, as the boy was making a drawing, he took a close look at his own drawing, then at the other children’s drawings, and said, “I’m not an amazing drawer… My mom tells me I am, but I know others are better than me.”

    Telling someone they’re “extremely” good at something would usually be a false statement which is the reason inflated praise should be avoided while giving feedbacks. It is not realistic and might end up backfiring.

    Have a great week,

    This Week’s Clippings

    1 – Blog Post – These five questions in one of Seth Godin’s daily post this week are really useful for making things unclouded in the head.

    2 – Article – Something else I saved for sharing this week was an article about Haruki Murakami and the Scarcity of Serious Thought. It’s about how working on creative processes becomes frustrating and stressful when you’re doing it with a full-time job. Here’s an excerpt:

    “Against the advice of nearly everybody, he sold his bar, and moved to Narashino, a small town in the largely rural Chiba Prefecture. He began going to bed when it got dark and waking up with the first light. His only job was to sit at a desk each morning and write. His books became longer, more complex, more story driven. He discovered what became his signature style.”

    3 – Article – This article about the differences between lifelong learners and skill-seekers. It talks about how skill-seekers are driven by economic benefits or improvements whereas lifelong learners have a lifelong love for learning and intellectual fulfilment. Here’s a clipping:

    Skill-seekers are looking for ‘just-in-time’ education and training. They are seeking the fastest, most effective and most affordable options for accomplishing very specific goals. They want raises, promotions and new jobs. They want to put more money on the table for their families. And they want real outcomes and accountability. It won’t just be whether they finished a course or program but whether doing so actually leads to a better work outcome. They aren’t doing this for fun; they’re doing it for funds. And it is critical that any educational institution or employer understand the distinction.”

    4 – Software – While learning some new keyboard shortcuts, I discovered a groundbreaking software by Microsoft called PowerToys. It has some really cool features like the pop-up run thing to search your files, colour picker and a feature that aligns your windows in a specific order. These features might not be necessary  for everyone but they’re great for speeding up the workflow system on your computer.

    (This is an issue of the “Sunday Clippings”. Every week I compile various valuable ideas, learnings, along with my highlights from interesting articles, books and podcasts in a short and skimmable email newsletter. Sign up here to get future issues delivered directly to your inbox!)

  • Learning Loop – Sunday Clippings #6

    Hello there,

    This week I wrote a post about Practice and Repetition, two steps that are the building blocks of developing any skill. This idea comes from a book called Art and Fear by David Bayles and Ted Orland who put this down to a simple skill of pottery. I also wrote a post about the “Red Queen Effect” which is an idea that comes from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll.

    It was my birthday last week so I compiled all my lessons from the last year as a blog post. It’s personal but I saw many writers sharing their favorite life lessons on the internet so I decided to follow the crowd. On to the newsletter, now!

    Recently one of the highlights has been learning content through online mediums and finding effective ways to do so. Here’s an interesting concept I came across recently called the Learning Loop. The Learning Loop is based on the idea that to accelerate learning it needs to be implemented in our day to day life. It’s easier to learn things from actual experiences that run in a loop than the basic conceptual understanding.

    A great part of this is based on taking reflections and feedback from yourself. When something less or more effectual happens, a concise reflection increases the quality of the learning and impacts how long it sticks with you. While discussing this concept in an article, Shane Parrish, the founder of Farnam Street writes,

    “Think about a clock: at twelve o’clock on the dial, you have an experience. At three o’clock, you reflect upon that experience. At six, that reflection creates an abstraction—a mental model—and at nine, you go on to take action based on that. Draw little arrows between them, and you can visualize this loop of learning. Mostly we skip the reflection part. We just want to get to the point. We want the answer so we gloss over the experience and the reflection to get to the abstraction, which answers the question what should we do.”

    This is usually where a problem arises, it’s the difference between Single and Double-loop learning method. The practitioners of Single-Loop Learning follow a short-term approach. It’s meant for learning things, getting the result and hopping onto the action associated with it. The problems and their solutions here are too close to each other.

    The Double-Loop Learning often follows a longer line of action but is more effective. The key features of this organizational system involves assumptions and self-awareness. In the Double-Loop Learning, making assumptions about the material helps to incorporate it in an established manner. While having a solitary loop does work but transitioning it out into actual learning is based on multiple loops of repetition and reflection than just consuming information for the result.

    Asking questions like “What are the patterns?”, “What are the details?”, “What did work and what didn’t?”, “What do I need to do in order to keep moving forward?” and answering them helps to increase the clarity of the abstractions in our mind. Usually, consuming content alone isn’t enough, a dedicated learning loop if required for effective learning. That’s all I wrote for this issue. I hope you learnt something new. :)

    Have a great week,


    This Week’s Clippings

    1 – Online Course – Recently, I have signed up for multiple classes on Skillshare. The one I’m taking at the moment is about learning Complete Web Design with Vako Shvili. You’ll learn how to create web designs using apps like Figma (Photoshop alternative) and Webflow. I think Web Design is a very useful skill to have for future projects plus it’s fun to learn. I recommend this class if you want to familiarise yourself with these apps for creating designs online.

    2 – Blog Post – This blog post on Paul Graham’s blog about Crazy New Ideas is a must-read. Here’s a highlight that resonated – “When a new idea first emerges, it usually seems pretty feeble. It’s a mere hatchling. Received wisdom is a full-grown eagle by comparison. So it’s easy to launch a devastating attack on a new idea, and anyone who does will seem clever to those who don’t understand this asymmetry.”

    3 – SNL – I was excited for yesterday’s Saturday Night Live with Elon Musk as the host. I really enjoyed the Gen-Z Hospital skit and the Chad on Mars skit. Overall, it was quite entertaining. Miley Cyrus’ live performances were excellent. SNL seriously needs to hire better scriptwriters though.

    4 – Video – It’s intriguing how behind the scenes of production are more interesting to watch than the content itself. Here’s a video on how Steve Giralt, a visual engineer makes food commercial using visual engineering, robotics, advanced camera work and a lot of creativity.

    4 – Quote – “More effort is wasted doing things that don’t matter than is wasted doing things inefficiently. Elimination is the highest form of optimization.” (Source: James Clear’s 3-2-1 Newsletter)

    (This is an issue of the “Sunday Clippings”. Every week I compile various valuable ideas, learnings, along with my highlights from interesting articles, books and podcasts in a short and skimmable email newsletter. Sign up here to get future issues delivered directly to your inbox!)

  • Constructive Criticism and Hate

    Both seem good, for both the feedback giver and the receiver. When I give nice feedback, I feel good about it. It feels equivalent to having done a generous act of kindness for the receiver which indirectly is true. Moreover usually, I either end up learning something new or it adds one more block in creating a strong relationship with the person I just helped.

    Hate speech on the other hand can have a negative impact on the receiver but it takes out some amount of anger and aggression from the source. Whenever I take the hate, I save someone else from taking it and it’s fine as long as I am not looking back to it.

    When you’re the hater, you not only detest but also are willing to stop someone from growing which is even worse. People pleasers try to make feedbacks less harsh but it reduces the genuine nature of how they should be. The harsh constructive feedbacks may occasionally be negative, but they are constructive, effective and worth thinking about. As Seth Godin says, “Holding back is selfish, because it deprives the group of your insight at the same time that it normalizes non-participation.”

    The only question I like to ask myself before giving feedback is if it is genuine. The bleakness doesn’t matter as long as it’s genuine. And if it is too bleak, I will prefer holding back over false pleasing.