Should-ing yourself

The wiki dictionary describes this as “The cognitive distortion of making statements of what should be true, as opposed to reality.” The habit of using the word ‘should’ repeatedly is known as should-ing.

Should-ing is a very unhealthy mindset to have because you’re always concentrating on what ‘has’ to be real furthermore you often start blaming yourself as it’s not real and becuase you want it to be real. 

“I should get good grades”, “I should have done that.”, “I should read more regularly”. When you start should-ing yourself, the mental condition is diverging from the idea of progress and improvement and focusing more on criticism and guilt. You burden yourself with too much stress of living up to the expectations you’ve planned for yourself.

Replace the should with ‘can’ and ‘will’. “I can read more regularly and I will read more regularly”. Once you learn to do this, you see what should be done in a much more realistic manner and you stop being judgemental on yourself.